Lyons Falls, New York is the Entertainment Capitol of the World

Yes, Lyons Falls is south of “FISH CREEK”

3 days in this mecca of entertainment is too much fun for anyone.

The city is loaded with theatres, restaurants, theme parks, golf courses and beautiful scenery for all to enjoy!

Thanks to a bursting economy all vendors keep their prices as low as possible to stay competitive!

The weather is beautiful, 70 degrees and sun…ALL DAY!!

The Veracity: Where in the fuck am I? My wifes cousin chooses this place to host her wedding?! No pool, no rec room, no bar?! This is the worst hotel ever. At least the locals know how to have fun….hmmm, we will have to wait and see. And the pricing up here? Gougeing is a fucking understatement. $8.50 for my pack of smokes! What the hell is going on here? Smoking is the only thing to do here……wait, that makes some sense then. But whatever, visit someplace else.

Sex Gets Better with Age!!

Eww

We know what we are doing now, so no more awkward fumbling beneath the sheets!

It’s about love now, and that makes everything “special”!

No more dating for me! I have what I want and have access whenever and where ever!

The Veracity: Men are like hunters in the wild, out for that next kill. Every hunt is different, some are easy and you get you catch quickley while others take longer and often lead to nothing.
Now men in relationships are still that mighty hunter, only now they have been given access to a grocery store. The hunter is exstatic with joy! All the food I want!! Don’t have to go out into the wild anymore!! But soon the hunter finds that his grocery store has odd hours of operation, not really a set schedule – just when it feels like being open. Also, his grocery store is talking about instituting a membership policy, a contract if you will, that says he may not hunt for food anymore and has to get his groceries FROM THIS STORE ALONE!!! Our hunter friend is worried. He likes hunting but the grocery store is much more convienent, although the selection does not vary often. In the end our hunter chooses the grocery store because he is lazy and realizes that one cannot hunt forever. It is a wise choice, if you like to eat.

The second kid is a breeze…

 

Having two kids is going to save me a bundle! I already have everything the kid needs: toys, clothes, bottles…..

 

It will be great for my son to have a playmate. I will just kick back while my son teaches my new little boy the ropes, he will be like a mentor!

 

It is going to be fun taking trips to the store now: no extra seat in the back of the car and they both can help me pick things out.

 

My three bedroom house was feeling a bit empty, it will be nice to fill that extra room up.

 

The Veracity: This is scary as shit. Two kids means that they both have to sit by a door while in the car (which every parent knows means death in an accident), two of them screaming for shit they don’t need and won’t want when we get home from the store. Two kids not eating a damn thing for dinner but begging later for a snack. Another daycare bill, great. No storage room for MY displaced shit anymore. Oh, and we are having a girl so all of my sons hand-me-downs are worthless. Actually, this should be fun.

The Joys of Home Ownership

 

Photo Provided By Bill Bailey

 

Owning a house is the best investment you can make. Over time the value of a home is going to rise, thus making you money.

 

Home repairs are a cinch, quick and easy! Really there is no better way to unite a family than a home improvement project. That’s why the Amish are always building barns, they have a strong belief in family values.

 

There is no better feeling than standing on your property and realizing” this is my land”. A sense of ownership makes the home life more relaxing.

 

The way you decorate your house is a the best way for people to discover “who” you are.

 

The Veracity: If you bought a house in the last ten years you got totally fucked up in the last 6 months. You buy a house for more than it is worth only to dump a shitload of money into it with improvements. That money is gone. The person you sell your house to (at a significant loss) is going to tear all that shit out anyways. It is fucked up that we all feel better about ourselves when we walk into someone elses house and it is messier than our own. I am in a family of 8. My shit breaks, I am a fucking orphan.