So, my brother has created a new topic section for his blog and guess who the first victim is…ME!!!! The topic will always be “In my lifetime” in which he describes something or someone who has affected his life. Thats my broad interpretation, but hey – draw your own conclusions here and tell me what you think!
….children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio! It was really cool to drive an hour for you to blow off an appointment with my 7 week old daughter, class act! It was also great to see everyone wearing surgical masks to prevent THEM from contracting swine flu while the rest of us just sit around …..I guess waiting to catch the plague of the 21st century.
Fuck doctors in general. With their bitching about insurance cost - that doesn’t stop them from driving a Mercedes right to their private parking space that is closer than the fucking handicap spot - and their over booking of appointment spots – has anyone ever NOT waited in a doctor’s office? – it is time to put their asses in check.
1- Make an appointment, keep the appointment!
2- You got into this business to help people, quit ruining lives to pad your bank account!
3- I don’t end my name with “Retail Manager” every time I write it, you don’t need to announce “MD” either! Cocky asshole!
4-You should be the healthiest person I know, park with the rest of us! Front spaces should be left for the handicap/sick/old pepes!
5-Finish your shift, change your clothes. Yeah, some morons find your scrubs cool because you look like the cast of Greys Anatomy – but the rest of us find it gross! You spent the whole day with sick people, get some clean civies on before spending the rest of the day with us!
6-When referring a patient to another doctor, please be honest. Begin the conversation with: “I am not a good enough doctor to treat you, so….”.
7- Admit what you are, a predator of people at their weakest moment. You delay the inevitable, filling our last days with financial woes and false hope. The billions spent on medical research should be directed to serve the world in better ways. Pave more roads, build better schools, more museums, less taxes…you get the point. Better life beats longer life!
Well, my youngest sibling is gonna be thirty this month. Welcome to the club Amber! Actually, there is no club, that was made up to make the fact that you are not welcome in the ‘youth club’ sting a little less.
Man this is a big year for you. Turning thirty, had a baby, husband morphed into scientist, paid 12 mortgage payments, gained three more dogs……am I leaving anything out? OH, and you are having a huge BDay party at my house !! Great year!!
Happy birthday Sis. Love,
Frank
Linux is exactley like windows, only everything works great intill you are trying to find HARDWARE that is compatible. There is almost nothing you can waltz to the local Giant Mart and buy that will plug and play with Linux. Now some ‘Puter’ know it alls will tell you that ‘all you need to do is download the drivers and reinstall the bootable bla bla bla’. No, I just want to have it work – NOW. I don’t know how most of this shit works, I just want it to do the crap I ask of it without me having to alter everthing. this is why Microsoft has 97% of the market share. most of the time it works just fine right out of the box.
I would love to see a more diverse choice for OS out there but it seems that we are limited to the great but not practicle Linux, the cheap and easy Windows and the ”It just doesn’t look right” OSX. The great change comes next year with the arrival of Googles Chrome OS! An operating system that runs from your browser, awesome!! Also the software compatability list is ginormous (adjetive ; describes size in terms of fucking hugeness). So, maybe my dreams will come in a year or so.
Yep, I am a sell out. I joined the FaceBook crowd yesterday and now I sit ashamed and totally lost on its functions. I am sure i will get the hang of it eventually, but by the time that happens it will have gone the way of MySpace.
Do you think that there is someone out there who is totally pissed about Yahoo geocities not catching on? Loser.
So, after some deciphering squiggley letters I now have 22 friends. Seems like alot since I have only actually spoken to about four of them in like 12 years. And then I visit some of their pages and see that 100 friends is not uncommon, and I am a loser again.
I am sure that I will treat this as any other social networking site, a way to get annoyed and clog up my email with nonsense updates. I had to leave a Yahoo account in the dust because of that, but it worked out since GMail is awsome.
Speaking of which…Wave is coming and I think I might jump on this one early…get to know the processes before my Mom does.
My Mom has more FaceBook friends than I. She is old. She has had longer time than me to get these friends. She hasen’t accepted my request yet.
FaceBook is going to ruin thanksgiving.
#2 – True Blood Season 2. The end to last season blew but this year is incredible. Miss year one? Fucking download it like everyone else!
#3 – Weeds Season 5. The show just keeps getting darker. I know the theme smells of dead horse, but the direction this year is the best since season 2. Missed the first 4? Yep, my advice still stands.
#4 – Hung Season 1. Ummmmm, can’t think of any big dick jokes right now but the show is still really good!!
#5 – Mad Men Season 3. Although slow moving, this show is high budget and has realistic plots.
#6 - Breaking Bad Season 2. Too late, you missed it. Great season to rent and watch all night on a random weekend.
#7 – Entourage Season 5. The gang is the same but the stories are still strong….although the last episode may have had a shark jump in it.
#8 – Dexter Season 4. The preair for episode one was STRONG, which is good news considering this is all new story lines for our neat monster!
#9 – Better Off Ted Season 1. This suprise funny hits home with office and work banter that is….god I sound like a dick. It’s a good show, go watch it.
#10 – Penn and Tellers Bullshit! This show shows you sides of things that you are never supposed to see! It’s like a backstage pass to the raping of America!!! Neat!!
#11 – Party Down Season 1. This show is hard to find (Netflix W.I.) and even harder to stop watching! Gotta thank Jacque for this find!
How is it that the harder you work the more you get hosed? I would be wealthier if I were poorer. Thats stupid. Actually I wish the whole world worked this way. Don’t go to college – get a higher paying job! Fuck around to stay disease free! Want to live longer? Go get an eight ball and drive like a fool. Now that is how it should be!
But it’s not, so we swallow hard and bend on over. It is easier to pay a little more than to speak up. Great examples of Frank being a pussy:
1) My property value dropped by 15% last year but my property taxes were raised. (Taxes = Assessed Value for you renters) Did I tell the city of Zanesville to piss off? No, I paid every fucking cent they wanted.
2) Daycare of course. $1100 dollars for 2 kids is bullshit. I pick my son up early from time to time and I see what these people actually do, which is not much. I give some credit to the “teachers” in the newborn class for listening to 15 babies cry all day, but everyone else is overpaid.
3) Everytime I by something at WalMart and those blue vested motherfuckers charge me 50 cents too much. I hate that shit. There are 10 people in line behind you and you don’t want to slow the process down by demanding a price check on diaper wipes. The know this so every other customer gets hosed for anothe 50 cents. Fuckers.
I have millions of other examples but this blog is pissing me off now. Let’s wrap this session up by agreeing to hold someone accountable for this kind of bullshit at least once a week. Good.
Hell is officially frozen, Pigs are flying and Monkeys are crawling out of Alan’s Butt!! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, brother Frank has quit smoking!
So, how was that bet laid out again? Alan rides a fake bike and Frank quits the most addictive substance this side of Tang?! Fair? No. Besides, Alan lost like 15 lbs…and gained 20 hanging with school chum JT in one night! If the bet involved his nails I’d won easily!! This calls for a list!!
Top 10 Changes that come with quitting…
10. Shhhhh….It’s pretty quiet around here without all that bitching about my smoke.
9. 10 & 2 ……Both hands on the steering wheel, weird!
8. Work sucks 20 minutes longer….No smoke breaks for NON smokers, bullshit.
7.$180 richer…..$6 a pack * 30 days…you get the math.
6. Now what?…..I guess sleep follows directly after sex now.
5. Who farted?…..I can smell EVERYTHING!!!
4. I’m That guy…. I tell everyone I quit and how.
3. 30 sit ups, 50 push ups, 3-5 miles ever other day. No shit.
2. No more Flem….I hope I spelled that right.
1. More people than ever hate me……Fuck them! Some say I am meaner, some are jealous or mad I actually quit smoking. Misery loves company and nothing pisses off a smoker more than someone who succeeded in quitting. My good smelling ass is gonna run right by them while cracking a six minute mile as they huddle around an ashtray grumbling how indecent it is for me to run in public wearing those shorts. I do it for the ladies.
Special thanks to Kathy for the “Book of Ages” which pretty much pushed me over the edge to quit.
Cussing makes you sound dumb, like you don’t know a correct adjetive for a situation.
Swear words are innapropriate for public places! Many people find these words too harsh to hear.
Curse words will banish others to hell if you say them….really.
The Veracity: Eskimos have over 100 different words for snow, I bet some of those words are used for when it is snowing really heavy and you don’t feel like snow right now. I bet that word really isn’t appropriate when you feel like snow or want it to snow and etc, etc. Point being, what others consider foul language I may consider correct for the situation. You may use a different word than I, but our central themes will be the same.
Eskimos have a fucking confusing language.
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